Interesting faces Interesting stories

Olivéra Koós

My mother left us when I was twelve years old.

You were born in Budapest. What kind of childhood did you have?

My mother left us when I was 12 years old. I had a brother who was eight years old. So we stayed with my father. For me that was not a big problem because I never loved my mother. I wanted to but she did not love us.

Why did she leave?

She had problems in her head. My parents were together for 14 years. When I was born, my mother was 20. My mother never worked. She used to go out with other men. One time she met a man at the school which my younger brother attended. He said he had a lot of money and that he worked for the government. He had one son, who was one of my brother’s classmates, so everybody knew about their relationship and there was a lot of gossip. Finally my mother left us for that man.

Did he live in the same town?

Yes. His wife was a friend of my father’s. I had a good relationship with her. My father, her son, my brother and I spent a lot of time together. I will never forget her. But it was complicated. She had mental health problems and, even though she was treated in hospital, she committed suicide. Her former husband, my mother’s new partner, was a liar. My mother and the man have two children but I haven’t seen her for more then 10 years. But it is not a problem for me, because I realised that she couldn’t love us. I loved my father but he changed after my mother left us. He cried a lot and became more aggressive. He came into my room and told me my mother was a bitch. That was very difficult. When I was 18 he told me to give him my keys, because I was an adult now.

So he told you to go? He sent you away?

Yes, I had finished school and went to university to study Communication and Media. At that time I had my first boyfriend and I lived with him but it was difficult, living my life without a family, because nobody helped us.

And where was your brother?

He stayed with my father and started to take drugs when he was 13 or 14. Now he is 20 but he has a lot of problems with his body, because he was so young when he began taking drugs. He’s very tall, almost two metres, and he looks very strong, but every week he has to go to an oncologist and has to take injections. He’s not healthy.

But you’re not sure if he has cancer?

I’m not sure. Sometimes he tells the truth. Sometimes he doesn’t.

How is your contact with your brother?

He still lives in Budapest. My father sold our house and went to work in Germany, so my brother had to start his own life. In Budapest we were never really poor. My father worked very hard as a taxi driver and he had to take care of us. That was very difficult for him.

I have a good relationship with my brother. We love each other. We contact each other on Facebook or WhatsApp. He can say what he wants to me but we never kiss or hug each other.

Does he still have contact with his father?

Yes.

And you?

No, I don’t have contact with my father any more. When I was a child I loved him but he was already aggressive then. It’s complicated. Not so long ago I also became aggressive towards my boyfriend and I didn’t know why. I was jealous without reason and couldn’t believe that he really loved me. I almost went mad. And then I understood. I had to close the past. I think there is a point in everyone’s life where you can choose if you want to change. I wanted to start over.

So now you have decided to take your life in your own hands and forget the past. Are you still with your boyfriend?

No, I lived alone for three years and now I have a new boyfriend. It was really difficult to live in Budapest so I decided to leave Hungary two and a half years ago, when I was 23. I sold all my things, my television, my microwave. I bought a ticket and went to Ibiza. In the first week I met my new boyfriend. He is Italian. We live in a big camper.

And are you happy now?

I’m happy when I am alone and I’m happy with him. I work as a waitress in a hotel for 10 or 12 hours six days a week. After the summer I have to find another job. We will travel to the south of Spain and then probably to Morocco and Tenerife.

What are your plans for the future?

In Budapest I completed a course to become a Swedish masseuse. I want to live more in tune with nature and I learned to make my own health products: drinks, creams, shampoos. I don’t take sugar or chemicals, I don’t dye my hair or put make-up on my face. When I was young, I had many Barbie dolls and I designed all kinds of clothes and jewellery for them. I made everything myself. But in Budapest I got depressed because of my situation and everything that was happening in the world. That’s what made me decide to leave and start something completely different. Now I am more interested in a natural lifestyle. Everything I was looking for I have found in Spain. Finally I’m a happy person.

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